Interpersonal hurts are a common part of human life, and how we respond to them can shape our individual and collective well-being. In Taming the Tokolosh, Mandy Bass recalls the moment forgiveness shifted from an abstract ideal to a lived reality. A young man she did not know broke into her home and brutally attacked her, leaving her badly injured and hospitalized. After recovering from her injuries, she received an invitation to meet with him. She agreed with some hesitancy. Recalling that first encounter since the assault, she describes how the barriers between them seemed to fall away as she instinctively hugged him after his emotional apology. As they embraced, she whispered, “I forgive you… God forgives you.” This experience changed the trajectory of both their lives.
Stories like this can feel ‘miraculous,’ in part because many of us can hardly imagine the trauma she endured, or the forgiveness that followed. The truth is that dramatic experiences of forgiveness aren’t everyone’s story. For many of us, forgiveness is challenging. For some, it can seem impossible. While not all of us will have experiences like Mandy’s, her story invites us to reflect on how forgiveness, when it is freely chosen and safe to do so, can loosen resentment’s grip and make room for healing. If forgiveness can be such a powerful force in one person’s life, what impact could it have on the well-being of many individuals, families, and communities around the world?
What forgiveness is (and isn’t)
People sometimes resist forgiveness because it can seem as though one is being asked to excuse the wrongdoing, abandon justice, or reopen the door to an unsafe relationship. But that’s not what forgiveness means. Forgiveness is a prosocial shift in how we relate to someone who hurt us, such as less resentment or a desire for revenge and greater compassion or goodwill. Clarifying what forgiveness is helps us see that it often requires clearly naming the wrongdoing rather than excusing it. Forgiveness can also co-exist with appropriate consequences and firm boundaries. Reconciliation is different because other ingredients must also be present, including safety, accountability, and trust. Forgiving others is also distinct from experiences such as self-forgiveness or divine forgiveness, though these may be meaningfully connected in many people’s lives.
Distribution of forgiveness around the world
The Global Flourishing Study is the first to present a broad perspective on forgiveness across national samples from many different cultures and contexts. In the first wave of national data from more than 200,000 participants across 22 countries, researchers found that about 75% of individuals reported that they had ‘often’ or ‘always’ forgiven those who had hurt them. Rates of forgiveness varied across countries, ranging from 41% in Turkey to 92% in Nigeria. Such variation suggests that forgiveness is shaped by cultural and contextual influences, including norms that preserve social harmony and religious teachings on responding to wrongdoing.
While many people endorsed a tendency to forgive others, about 25% of individuals across the countries reported that they had ‘rarely’ or ‘never’ forgiven those who had hurt them. These results highlight the need for culturally sensitive resources for individuals who want to pursue forgiveness but find it difficult, especially in under-resourced contexts where mental health services are often more limited.
Forgiveness can impact well-being
In a new analysis of Global Flourishing Study data collected over two years, researchers examined whether people who reported being more forgiving at one point in time tended to report better well-being one year later. They found that forgiveness was associated with somewhat higher well-being on many of the 56 outcomes, including mental health, purpose in life, relationship satisfaction, and hope. Decades of research have pointed to similar links, but this analysis is distinctive because its cross-national scale and breadth of included outcomes provide one of the most comprehensive global tests of the relationship between forgiveness and flourishing.
Forgiveness can be one of the most powerful forces for healing in our lives.
—Richard G. Cowden
Forgiveness can be strengthened
Forgiveness may be difficult for many of us, but the hopeful news is that forgiveness is not a rare quality that some people have and others lack. Studies have shown that forgiveness is like a muscle that we can strengthen. In a large multisite randomized trial involving more than 4500 individuals across Colombia, South Africa, Ukraine, Indonesia, and Hong Kong, researchers found that a 3-hour evidence-based forgiveness workbook improved forgiveness, anxiety, depression, and overall well-being. Although this type of scalable resource may not be suitable for everyone, the study showed that a brief do-it-yourself forgiveness workbook can help many people with unresolved hurts to experience greater forgiveness.
Expanding the possibility of forgiveness globally
Mandy Bass’s story points to the outer edge of what forgiveness can look like. The global data point to a more common reality: forgiveness can be challenging, and many people get stuck. This matters because unresolved hurts can negatively impact mental health, relationships, workplaces, and community life. If we can make resources more widely accessible to those who want to forgive but find it difficult, it could empower people to pursue forgiveness on their own terms when it’s safe and appropriate.
Initiatives such as the Global Forgiveness Movement at Harvard University have been established with this aim. However, scaling the reach and uptake of impactful forgiveness resources will require considerable collaboration and ongoing engagement across health systems, workplaces, schools, religious communities, and civic organizations. Expanding opportunities for people to consider, access, and engage with forgiveness resources in ways that safeguard autonomy, safety, and justice may yield benefits for individual well-being that ripple outward into a more flourishing humanity.
References
Cowden, R. G., Worthington, E. L., Jr., Padgett, R. N., Felton, C., Weziak-Bialowolska, D., Wilkinson, R., Jackson-Meyer, K., Chen, Z. J., Bradshaw, M., Johnson, B. R., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2026). Longitudinal associations of dispositional forgivingness with multidimensional well-being: A two-wave outcome-wide analysis in the Global Flourishing Study. npj Mental Health Research, 5(1), Article 3. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44184-026-00187-5
Cowden, R. G., Worthington, E. L., Jr., Chung, C. A., De Kock, J. H., Weziak-Bialowolska, D., Yancey, G., Shiba, K., Padgett, R. N., Bradshaw, M., Johnson, B. R., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2025). Sociodemographic variation in dispositional forgivingness: A cross-national analysis with 22 countries. Scientific Reports, 15, Article 12144. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-024-82502-8
Cowden, R. G., Worthington, E. L., Jr., Weziak-Bialowolska, D., Yancey, G., Witvliet, C. V. O., Shiba, K., Padgett, R. N., Bradshaw, M., Johnson, B. R., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2025). Childhood predictors of dispositional forgivingness in adulthood: A cross-national analysis with 22 countries. Applied Research in Quality of Life, 20, 1057–1084. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11482-025-10451-z
Ho, M. Y., Worthington, E. L., Cowden, R. G., Bechara, A. O., Chen, Z. J., Gunatirin, E. Y., Joynt, S., Khalanskyi, V. V., Korzhov, H., & Kurniati, N. M. T. (2024). International REACH forgiveness intervention: A multisite randomised controlled trial. BMJ Public Health, 2, Article e000072. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjph-2023-000072
VanderWeele, T. J., Johnson, B. R., Bialowolski, P. T., Bonhag, R., Bradshaw, M., Breedlove, T., Case, B., Chen, Y., Chen, Z. J., Counted, V., Cowden, R. G., de la Rosa, P. A., Felton, C., Fogleman, A., Gibson, C., Grigoropoulou, N., Gundersen, C., Jang, S. J., Johnson, K. A., … Yancey, G. (2025). The Global Flourishing Study: Study profile and initial results on flourishing. Nature Mental Health, 3, 636–653. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44220-025-00423-5
